Reward Process, not Product.
I often encounter situations in which children and students are not able to meet their parents or teachers goals. “Johnny was not able to go a full week without a behavioral meltdown” or “Matthew studied so hard, but couldn’t pass the test.” All parents have high expectations for their children and rightly so; however, when these expectations are not met, there can be an enormous blow to the child’s self esteem. There is the old cliché that tells us that “as long as you try” that’s all that matters. I would take this statement a step further. Praise and reward the process that you would like to see your child use to reach the goals that are set, not the end goal itself. We want to ensure that our children understand the importance of using a skill set that is taught; not just achieving the end goal.